miércoles, 25 de mayo de 2011

7 reasons not to mess with children

Courtesy of Freddy

From: freddy_ada
To: mylatinoz@hotmail.com
Subject: Fw: 7 reasons not to mess with children
Date: Tue, 24 May 2011 07:18:04 +1000

----- Original Message -----
From: J Cabrera
Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 9:44 PM
Subject: 7 reasons not to mess with children

7 Reasons Not To Mess With  Children 

A little girl was talking to  her teacher about whales.

The teacher  said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because  even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.  

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.  

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a  human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I  get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah  went to hell?' 

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask  him'.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing  her classroom of children while they were drawing.. She would occasionally  walk around to see each child's work

As she got to one little  girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.  

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God'

The teacher paused and said,  'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or  looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a  minute.'

  A Sunday school teacher was  discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.  

After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy  Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat  our brothers and sisters?' 

Without missing a beat one little boy  (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

 One day a little girl was sitting  and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly  noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in  contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and  inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?' 

Her  mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me  cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl  thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come  ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

  The children had all been  photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a  copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look  at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a  lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the  back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's  dead.'

 A teacher was giving a lesson on the  circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said,  'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into  it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class  said.

'Then why is it that while  I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into  my feet?' 

A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't  empty.'

  The children were lined up  in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of  the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on  the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is  watching.'

Moving further  along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of  chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you  want. God is watching the apples.'

  It doesn't matter how many  people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends  will laugh too..


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