|           Good morning . . . At present we are not at         home but,please Leave your message after you hear the         beep.         beeeeeppp         ....          If you are one of our children, dial 1 and         then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so         we know who it is.          If you need us to stay with the children,         press 2          If you want to borrow the car, press 3          If you want us to wash your clothes and         ironing, press 4          If you want the grandchildren to sleep here         tonight, press 5          If you want us to pick up the kids at         school, press 6          If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday         or to have it delivered to your home,          press 7          If you want to come to eat here, press 8          If you need money,press 9          If you are going to invite us to dinner,         or, taking us to the theater,start talking we are listening         !!!!!!!!!!!"          WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?          (Taken from papers written by a class of         8-year-olds)          Grandparents are a lady and a man who have         no little children of their own. They like other people's.          A grandfather is a man, & a grandmother         is a lady!          Grandparents don't have to do anything         except be there when we come to see them… They are so old they         shouldn't play hard or run.  It is good if they drive us to the         shops and give us money.          When they take us for walks, they slow down         past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.          They show us and talk to us about the         colors of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.'          They don't say, 'Hurry up.'          Usually grandmothers are fat but not too         fat to tie your shoes.          They  wear glasses and         funny underwear.          They can take their teeth and         gums out.          Grandparents don't have to be smart.          They have to answer questions like 'Why         isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?'          When they read to us, they don't skip. They         don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.          Everybody should try to have a grandmother,         especially if you don't have television because they are the only grownups         who like to spend time with us.          They know we should have a snack         time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even         when we've acted bad.          GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE         TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS, BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS         SMART AS HIM!          It's funny when they bend over; you hear         gas leaks, and they blame their dog.                     Send this to other grandparents, almost         grandparents, or heck, send it to everyone. It will make their day           |         
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